Tackling bullying

Bullying is definitely something that the majority of us have or will face. Bullying is the persistent action or aim to hurt yours or someone else’s feelings or the victims’ physical selves. For the pure reason that it is so damaging physically and mentally makes it an extremely hard problem to deal with at first; nevertheless when you are aware on how easy it is yet how drastically it can change everything, it is no longer seen as much of an issue to tackle it.

After two years of bullying mine is still going however, it is not effecting me as much anymore. These tips might not necessarily stop the bullying completely however, they should hopefully make you less effected by this negativity and that pretty much destroys the whole concept of it if you are happier. You must remember that people who bully want you to feel saddened by their actions, so feeling down because they aren’t nice people in the slightest is the wrong way to go. Keep smiling around them and they will get the idea that they can’t get to you and therefore they may back off a bit 😉

I have never actually bullied anyone, I have been falsely accused of it on many occasions nevertheless never have I deliberately hurt a soul – it’s really not who I am (Bullying is not cool). So perhaps me talking like I know a bully would be difficult (as none of my friends or family are bullies either), talking like I know about the victims is more likely and relatable for myself. Nevertheless, I’m not going to tell you the same thing every other blog and website says about – “the bully is just sad themselves so they try to drag others down with them.” I feel like that attitude is giving sympathy to somebody who deliberately afflicts pain? The attitude I go with is that we have to remember that the bully is also a person, so knowing their background and how they have been brought up could change the attitudes and the way they behave. (However that is never an excuse for serious issues.) Therefore, you must be really careful about how you handle them – as the mindset they are in may not be the same as your own.However never is there an excuse for bullying no matter what – not even if in previous days you were bullied yourself.

One extremely important thing is not to retaliate to what they are doing no matter what. Not only are you giving them the unwanted attention they are pleading for, but also you may be becoming the bully. Sometimes, they will deliberately be trying to catch you out so the tables are turned and you look like the issue despite the fact you are not.

Remember – never feel guilty for things that are not your fault like bullying.

All the time, people tell me to go and speak to a responsible adult or Councillor and tell them about my feelings and what the bullies have said or done to me. I always found it quite tricky, I felt like nobody really understood me and truthfully I was just wasting my time. I ended up battling alone which definitely wasn’t easy – because the fight it’s self was anything but. The thing that later changed my mind was blogs and websites – I thought nobody was like me, I was just the lonely girl tackling a problem no one else had ever faced; then however after reading all these webpages it clicked that I wasn’t the only one and I needed help. I now try to tell my parents and family more about my issues, perhaps I do not tell them everything but I am gradually building up to. I am telling you all this to simply state that truthfully you do need to go and tell an adult. Out of the 7.125 billion people in the world you are not the only one struggling, and Councillor’s are paid to help, your parents and family love you and both of those sets of people want to see you smile. Bullying can be stopped with the exchanging of emotions of words – it is not pointless.

Often, bullying can become so severe that you may be considering moving schools. This is definitely to action to take if you don’t feel safe, and the teachers aren’t supporting you through this time. Nevertheless, one thing to consider before you go off to a completely new environment is that unfortunately, there are going to be bullies at all schools – you can’t really escape them. A new start at this time may seem convenient, but once you’re there and you have to make a brand new group of friends it could make things a lot harder to deal with, especially since the loneliness and insecurity you felt back won’t go away immediately when you step through a different set of doors. Sometimes it may be better to speak to someone and ask for their input on what they think you should do in this situation. This could be to Childline, to a responsible adult (or friend) or to a Councillor whichever you would prefer.

Finally, I would like to finish on the fact that often bullying occurs down to jealousy. You know when someone has a really cute outfit and you really want it; well often some people can get flashes of anger towards that person because they want it but instead you have it. It would be the exact same perhaps towards the relationships you have with people, your looks or your hobbies. Most of the time bullying comes down to this, and while bullying is really unpleasant it can prove some incredible things – you’re doing everything right and everyone wants to be just like you (;

– Don’t let negative attitudes destroy your positive vibes ~ you’re gorgeous –

ily,

Ellie (:

elinorholmes@hotmail.co.uk – for advice, support, feedback or simply to share your stories

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